On the Jewish Bus

I'm currently taking the Jewish-run bus service back to dc and have managed to encounter another snorer (See On the China Bus). This one is sitting next to me and oozing into my seat due to his immense girth. I wish I was kidding. He's sitting next to me right now, arms folded across his chest and roaring away like a chain saw. He seemed like a very nice guy when he sat down, but by the time we'd entered the Lincoln tunnel, the snorefest had begun. I was one of the last people with an open seat next to me and was starting get hopeful when he sidled up and asked if the space was free. Darn. This should have happened to the girl in front of me who damaged her Karma by being one of those assholes who sits in the aisle seat and puts their bag in the window seat. These people know what they're doing; forcing those looking for a seat as space is dwindling to ask her if that seat is taken and then have to climb over her to get into it. People will always go for an empty aisle seat before asking someone to move their bag off of a window seat.
After we'd entered Jersey, I caught the eye of someone a few rows ahead of me who was motioning for me to give tubby a nudge. I'm sorry, I shouldn't call him “tubby”, it's just the first name that came to mind. God, I hope he can't read this thing from over there. I've got my headphones on at this point and can't really hear if he's asleep. Ok. I looked over. He's out like a light. Where was I? Oh yes, so a girl a few rows ahead is motioning for me to nudge him. I give her the shoulder shrug with hands at shoulder height motion and she gives me the “just push him” motion with the words mouthed. I give him a weak push. I don't want to disturb him, just get him to stop snoring. No effect. I put my headphones on and try to ignore him some more. The girl ahead gets up, walks over and gives his largeness a tap on the shoulder. Upon awaking, she informs him that he's being a little loud. He apologizes sleepily, stays awake for a half hour and is now snoring again. It's a good thing I remembered my headphones, even if I haven't invested in an ipod and can only listen to the one album on my little mp3 player that I use for running. That one album is Brian Wilson's “Smile”.
Holy crap! Tubby just put his arm down and is sleeping on me! I've tried nudging him and am now pushing against him. He immovable! A mountain is occupying half of my seat. I don't know if I'll make it out of here alive.
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