Molt Be Blog

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Wow! Six whole days with nothing said. That can't be good. There's a primary today. Do these things even matter anymore?
But onto the real reason that I'm bothering to write: I just accidentally took of my headphones and had one of the earpieces go in my coffee. It wouldn't have been so bad, if I had noticed where it had fallen, instead of going to lunch and not finding it submerged until I got back half an hour later.
The office is closing at 4pm today so as to prepare for inclement weather. This had better be good.


Wednesday, January 21, 2004

The Washington Post's analysis of the State of the Union is worth a gander.


Tuesday, January 20, 2004

It's the State of the Union address. Another chance to listen to subversive bullshit for more than an hour!
Note to Bush: End on Troop Support and God, God, GOD!
There's not much that I can point out that won't be pointed out elsewhere. But I can give out advice as though I'm some type of political mastermind:
DON'T BE FOOLED! Think when the man talks and try to figure out what's really being said and why it's being said. If he talks about a program he developed for kids, that means that there's something wrong with the program and he's already trying to defend it. If he talks about the "sanctity of marriage", it means he doesn't approve of homosexual marriages. He prefers sanctified unions, which, for all their sanctity still carry a 50% rate of failure. If he starts listing tiny countries that were coerced into helping the US as part of "international support", that means that there's a reason for someone to attack him for not having international support.


Thursday, January 15, 2004

My God. I don't have a single, unique, interesting thing to say today. Is that good? Does that mean I'm happy? American? Consuming?


Tuesday, January 13, 2004

It's restaurant week in DC. What does this mean? It means trying to remember how to spell "restaurant" so that you can enter it into google and find stuff. Or it means using the links hidden (poorly) in these phrases. Thank the lord there's a free place that reviews DC eateries, so that you can figure out which ones to go to that would normally be too expensive. The deal is that all of the restaurants on the list offer a $20 three course lunch and a $30 three course dinner.


Monday, January 12, 2004

Oh let's just all be happy and watch some strong bad.


The DC primary is tomorrow! While glancing through the voting booklet I received in the mail, I ran into the following candidate for the democratic nomination. I didn't scan in the page or anything, but I did take the time to type it out, as it was so retarded. Enjoy:

Democratic Party Candidate
Candidates are listed in alphabetical order)

Vermin Supreme

Vermin Supreme, a friendly fascist, a tyrant you can trust. Let him run your life. He knows what's best for you. Proper dental hygiene is essential to proper social order. "Effective use of tartar control will prevent the need for crowd control later."

-Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation of ours long enough and must be stopped!

For too long this great nation of ours has been suffering a great moral and oral decay in spirit and incisors. A country's future depends on its ability to bit back. We can no longer be a nation indentured, our very salivation is at stake. Therefore we must brace ourselves, bit the bullet, and now more than ever, as we hurdle forward over the bridgework into the twenty-third century, may we become together a nation of gleaming smiles from sea to shining sea. THROUGH WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY. DO NOT BE FOOLED BY FALSE TEETH PROPHETS!

This law is not about:

Dental commando squads or warrantless random no knock dental inspections.
Government issued toothpaste containing addictive yet harmless substances.
Video surveillance through two way bathroom mirrors.
Electronic tracking, moisture and motion sensor devices in all toothbrushes.
Novelty floss dispensers
Dental re-education center.
Gene splicing to create a race of winged monkeys to act as tooth fairies.
Computer chip dental implants with laser scanners at all toll booths and supermarkets.
The fluoridation of every beverage or even preventative dental maintenance detention facilities.

What this mandatory tooth brush law is really about is:


Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation of ours long enough and must be stopped!

All politicians are vermin. I am Vermin Supreme. I shall lie to you, because I can. I will Promise anything and deliver nothing. I am the peoples' candidate, you are the people.


This is one of the strangest things I've ever read. So let's learn more!
Who is the Vermin Supreme? According to some newspaper, he might be labeled a performance artist. This makes me sad.
So what about the other candidates? Wait... they all dropped out and no one cares. Oh well. All those for Carol Moseley Braun say "Aye!"


Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Brilliant! These drawings are amazing!


Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Click Here and watch now. There are more in the contest, but this one takes the cake.


I just received an email including advice about the hazards of Spam from the main Tech office in Chicago for the third time.
Work carries on much as it will. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. I won't let them get to me. Ouch!


Sunday, January 04, 2004

The holidays are over... finally! Now I can start spending money on myself! That's not what I mean. Went up to NY for Xmas and then back down here to work for two days, then back up to New York for New Year's. New Year's eve was something I might dub a "catastrophe". There are multiple reasons, but I think glass-and-booze-soaked-floor-covered-with-thousands-of-annoying-kids-and-an-hour-wait-to-get-my-coat about sums it up.
Either way, we took the bus from DC to NY and back (just like I did for Thanksgiving. If you're ever traveling between DC and NY check out Washington Deluxe. It's cheaper than driving. Enough said.
I was back the day after New Year's to work, then I had Saturday off, then I was back at work again today... so that's fun.
In the meantime, nothing much is happening around here. It's good to have the holidays over with and get back to doing normal things, like throwing out the Christmas tree. It was a funny looking tree to begin with, but it's starting to look a bit vicious. Perhaps some water would help.