Molt Be Blog

Sunday, April 10, 2005

On the China Bus

What is it about the back seat of a bus that attracts the dregs of society?
Today's bus trip to nyc was reminiscient of an experience R and I had on a bus ride from Hamburg to somewhere in Denmark two years ago. At a stop, we watched as two German men carrying several bags and a boombox started to stow their things underneath the bus. The bags went under, the boombox stayed out. On they came and on came the German dance music for the next 5 hours. Only specal bavarian batteries could have kept that thing going amid the stares from all the other passengers.
Today's ride had similar themes. The gentleman sitting two rows behind me in the last seat of the bus managed to snore consistently through three states and the first five hours of the ride. Snore type ranged from low-and-quiet to a more fast-paced “huffle” that may have accompanied certain dreams. 5 hours into the cocaphony, our hero awoke to urinate with the door to the semi-operational restroom wide open. My quick glance toward that unmistakable sound and smell led him to feign a reach for the door with his free hand before giving up entirely. The stench was hideous.
Upon returning to his row of seats to begin either snoring or muttring to himself (as he was doing before boarding), he instead seemed to not be interested in either. I had just started to relax when I heard a radio click on behind me and the mindless drone of sports-talk radio filled the air. If I wanted to listen to idiots talk about sports, I could go to lunch with any of the business-major-frat-boys at work. I can't believe they have entire stations for men to listen to that have the same exact content of their own conversations with their peers, but then again, I listen to npr. I digress, if the Lincoln Tunnell hadn't presented itself to cut out all radio signals, I would have surely started to turn around to glare more frequently.
As we neared our destination, loud guy arose and began to collect the bags of trash that had accumulated between dc and nyc. I realized that this man might, in some way, be compensated for his trip or be working for the bus company. The first thing that pooped into my brain was that he should be fired, the second was a classist remark to say I wasn't surprised that the crazy, smelly, snoring guy was the one picking up garbage, the third was that I needed to get the hell off of that bus.
Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry

No comments: