ny - “smooth jazz”

R and I are on our way to head up to ny for my sister's high-school graduation.
The airport van showed up 15 minutes early and then the driver was angry with us for taking an extra few minutes to come downstairs. I'm livid.
For one thing, his early arrival caused me to forget my watch and phone charger.
For another thing, his early arrival caused us to rush and not get to say goodbye to the kittens.
But the worst part about all of this: he's currently forcing me to listen to “smooth jazz” at 5:30 in the morning. I'm not normally a very happy person at this hour. Guess how I feel now?
I'll go through the roof if he even mentions how long. It took us to get downstairs.
What in the hell is “smooth jazz” anyway? Is it just muted guitars, brushes on the drums and lame saxophone work? It's f-ing horrible. It worse than spyro-gyra and I list one of their concerts that I was focred/tricked into attending as one of the top 3 worst experiences of my life. I think a life worse than death for me would be one where I was forced to listen to smooth jazz while watching fox news. I shudder to think. At this point, I would prefer country (that's also saying a hell of a lot).
If read this message in the next half hour, please come rescue us from this van.
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