Chain restaurants

I'm sitting on the metro listening to a family from out of town trying to decide where they should eat this evening. Every single idea that's been floated so far has been a chain restaurant. Ruby Tuesdays, TGIFridays, Red Lobster, the Cheesecake Factory (to which the question of whether or not this was just a dessert stand or an actual sit-down eatery was posed), etc.
Why do people eat at these festering petri dishes?
Laziness is the best reason that I can come up with. Think about it. There's no research involved. It's restaurant service combined with fast-food menu convenience. Too bad for folks that that the food is all microwaved and soaked in butter. As a friend who once worked at Red Lobster explained to me, "the only things that don't come premade and get put in a microwave are the steaks and the lobster. That's it."
If the food wasn't bad enough, R points out that all the crap on the walls (hockey sticks, boomerangs, license plates, photographs of football players from the 1920s, and the classic "Free beer tomorrow" sign) collects dust and creates an atmosphere of tacky-ness that, for some reason, still doesn't kill one's appetite.
The only explanation for remaining hungry despite the crap on the walls must be some kind of pheromone pumped into the air. Conspiracy? Damn straight.


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