Ah....
Christmas is over and so is a short break from work. Thank goodness that I only have three days of work this week. My sister managed the awesome... Incredible... gift of Napoleon Dynamite, which I will now quote at least once per blog. Lucky. She was also in charge of the stocking stuffing and utilized the dollar store to its full potential. She managed to come up with these gems:
As you can see above, the "cooLeye" is an unfashionable eye covering that supposedly helps to reduce swelling or something. The best part about this product is its insane description on the back, the full text of which is as follows:
INTRODUTION
Cooleye is especially designed for people who are constantly using their mind and eyes for work. The product is adopted the new formula-DVT.It is mixed some kinds of non-frozen macr-omolecule compound. It Has the stable energy transformation function according to the unique physical theory. The product absorbs heat automatically, it is not need to freeze it. The product is naturally and refreshing, never freezes below 0°C. It can be directly acted on the body regions by cold dressing or hot dressing. The product can promote the blood circulation. It is convenient for use.it can be sued in hot or cold condition and can be used repeatedly. The surface material of the product is smooth and ventilated environmental protection material,it is made from international comportable material, can pr-event static electricity and resist low or high temperature. The product has no stimulation and poisonous to the skin so it is necessary for our daily life.
USAGE
1.Cooleye should be stored indoor or put in room which has air conditioner, you can get better effect if put it in refrigerator for 15-30 minutes before use.
2.For hot spread,put in about 70°C, hot water for 10-15 minutes. Please put on a towel to guard against frostbite and scald If it is overcool when freezed below 0°C or overheated when he-ated.
3.It can be used repeatedly.
CAUTION
It must be stopped using when its content leaked out.
It is only for external use, not edible.
Cooleye is especially designed for people who are constantly using their mind and eyes for work. The product is adopted the new formula-DVT.It is mixed some kinds of non-frozen macr-omolecule compound. It Has the stable energy transformation function according to the unique physical theory. The product absorbs heat automatically, it is not need to freeze it. The product is naturally and refreshing, never freezes below 0°C. It can be directly acted on the body regions by cold dressing or hot dressing. The product can promote the blood circulation. It is convenient for use.it can be sued in hot or cold condition and can be used repeatedly. The surface material of the product is smooth and ventilated environmental protection material,it is made from international comportable material, can pr-event static electricity and resist low or high temperature. The product has no stimulation and poisonous to the skin so it is necessary for our daily life.
USAGE
1.Cooleye should be stored indoor or put in room which has air conditioner, you can get better effect if put it in refrigerator for 15-30 minutes before use.
2.For hot spread,put in about 70°C, hot water for 10-15 minutes. Please put on a towel to guard against frostbite and scald If it is overcool when freezed below 0°C or overheated when he-ated.
3.It can be used repeatedly.
CAUTION
It must be stopped using when its content leaked out.
It is only for external use, not edible.
Given my major in college, I'd feel bad poking fun at this, so I'll just let you make your own jokes... They can be used repeatedly!
1 comment:
"your mom goes to college"
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