Thievery! Stupid, stupid Thievery!
R borrowed her parents' extra car, commonly referred to as the Geoguar (Geo. Jaguar. Get it?), on Friday and parked it on the street out in front of our building.
On Sunday morning when we went to take the car back to MD, we found this:
Stupid, stupid thieves. Whoever broke in to a 1990-something Geo parked between a BMW and a Land Rover clearly knows his way around a locked door. What amazing object did the thief believe to be inside? Why did the thief decide to leave gross blood?:
Gross! Blood!
We thought that the thief must have:
a) Thought that there was something worth stealing underneath the big grey car cover that he/she only ended up bleeding on or
b) Thought that there was an extra key in the glove compartment, which, apparently, is something a lot of dumb drivers do.
The fact that nothing was missing at all was surprising, but the real slap in the face was that the thief didn't bother to steal the Modest Mouse CD underneath the driver's seat that I thought I'd lost forever. Given that I found it while looking to see if the thief had taken anything, this break-in was actually a gain in terms of items I currently posses.
R and I also gained some awesome droplets of blood left on the center console and car cover! Those are really nice. Thief wiped some on the passenger seat, too! What a crafty, DNA spewing devil.
At least he only broke the tiny back window rather than slitting open his stomach and bleeding on the hood.
The window was covered almost entirely by insurance and nothing was missing, so everything worked out just fine.
If you've been reading this webpage long enough, you're now thinking, "this guy lives in a neighborhood where his neighbor steals his paper, short drunk men in boxer shorts pee in his elevator, and people break into Geo's."
And I can only agree with you that my neighborhood is one of the best ones in DC.
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