Molt Be Blog

R and I cancelled our cable a few months ago. I don't want to be one of those people that always talks about "Oh, I don't have television! I didn't see that! Aren't I great because I don't have television?!?" There's nothing special about not having a television. It might just show that you're cheap... Most people have a television, but anyone can just shut it off. The real admission of a person not having a TV or canceling their cable is that they don't have enough self control to just stop watching it.
Either way, R and I decided that we were spending too much time watching the magic window and that we might as well cancel the cable to save money and encourage ourselves to read the newspaper.
This all leads up to my visit to the local Radio Shack.
With the cable canceled, I thought that we would at least get normal broadcast TV (i.e. NBC, CBS, and the illustrious WB). I was wrong. Just fuzz. We could actually still see the history channel because the cable is running into the apartment for the internet connection. I had considered buying a descrambler, but that would have just ended in us watching even more television and stealing from those poor, indigent media conglomerates. In the end, we decided that we should buy an antenna to try to get some semblance of television (and I thought it might be useful for the Olympics when they come around).
There's a Radio Shack on K street across from my work, so I went over there on Monday afternoon to buy an antenna. I went during work and didn't have a lot of time to mess around. My idea was to get in there, buy the first antenna that I saw and then leave again.
I should say that I haven't had the best experiences with radio shack in the past. I've never purchased a device from them that lasted more than a year or so. I learned not to trust radio shack from my mom at an early age when I listened to her complain about a slew of terrible clock radios she'd purchased, so I was on my guard as soon as I went in.
No sooner had I asked a sales representative where the antennas were was I confronted by a hands-free-cell-phone-attachment-wearing employee who was ready to "make the sale." I have never appreciated salespeople. I know that I could never do it myself because I'm a terrible liar.
"You really don't want to get that one," the salesman said to me as I was eyeing the cheapest of the antennas.
"Of course I do." I said, "It's the cheapest one here."
"Yeah, but that one won't work for you."
"Why would you be selling something that doesn't work?"
"Do you live in the city?" he asked me.
"Yes."
"Well, then that one is 'unamplified' and won't give you reception in the city."
"Oh." I said, "what's the return policy on the cheap one?"
"30 Days"
"Well, then why don't I just buy it and then if doesn't work I can return it and get the next better one."
"But why would you want to go through all that trouble?" He asked.
"It's really not a problem," I said, "I work across the street and I could just bring it back on my lunch hour."
"Well, look: I bought that one and it didn't work too well in the city. Now I own this other one," he said, pointing to the antenna that was $20 more. "I personally own the amplified antenna and it works great. What floor do you live on?"
"Ummm... The sixth floor."
"Yeah. You'll definitely want to buy this one."
At this point I was sure he was lying. Who doesn't have cable? I knew that R and I were outcasts for having canceled our cable and listening to somebody trying to sell me an antenna lie about owning one himself was insulting. And what the hell does being on the sixth floor have to do with needing an amplified antenna? Don't people try to put antennas as high up as they can? Wouldn't being on any floor at all be better than not being in an apartment building?
Needless to say, I picked up the amplified antenna for $30. I felt so used walking up to the counter to pay, until I listened to the clerk to my left trying to sell a French woman a warranty for the battery on her alarm clock.
"Ms. You should really thinking about getting a warranty for this. We get these thunderstorms that roll through here and you'll get a power surge and BAM! The battery will short circuit and your alarm clock won't work anymore."
"I've lived here for 4 years and I've never had a problem like that," she said.
"Well, I'd like to live where you live."
She didn't buy the warranty... Come to think of it, now I feel even worse about having bought the more expensive antenna. Once I got the thing home and had it hooked up, I got to play the fun game of having the reception be perfect until I stepped back and then having it be all fuzzy again. I did find that if I unplugged it (thereby making it "unamplified"), it wouldn't work anymore, which made me feel a little bit better about having spent as much as I did. After an hour or so, I found that the only channel that comes in clearly is the WB. We haven't turned it on in four days.