My Netflix Review for Lady in the Water

Roger Ebert's review of Lady in the Water reminded me how much I hated the movie, so I thought I'd review it on Netflix. Here:

I was subjected to this piece of horrible film on a transatlantic flight. The plot meanders from worthless point to worthless point as characters we couldn't care less about repeat the obvious until you wish there was something blunt around to use to hit yourself in the face. I found myself repeatedly removing my headphones to ask those around me if this film was some kind of stupid joke meant to teach film students what not to make or to amuse malnourished chimpanzees who had just finished huffing an entire can of paint thinner. Don't see this. It is a waste of precious time that would be better spent slamming your head in a car door.