Molt Be Blog: 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Sainthood in the 21st century

At the national gallery and noticing a lot of paintings with saints in them. Ther's the martyrdom of Saint Lawrence, the martyrdom of Saint Giovanni, the portrait of this or that saint reading... It makes me wonder what would happen to someone today if they were to behave as saints did in the paintings in which they're depicted. Some might immediately assume that they'd be declared insane and locked away, but that seems trite abd unimaginitive. Plus, all of the mental facilities in this country are full and/or underfunded.
More than likely, they would be labeled as unproductive slackers and ridiculed for being lazy. What would you call someone whose idea of a good time is sitting in the woods reading and getting closer to god? A jesus freak? A loser? Certainly the term "saint" wouldn't be thrown around too much.
More important than this lame observation was my realization that there's a direct relationship between someone's pretentiousness and how close they stand to a painting.
And don't try to go see the declaration of independence any day between christmas and new year's, you'll never make it out alive.

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Chain restaurants

I'm sitting on the metro listening to a family from out of town trying to decide where they should eat this evening. Every single idea that's been floated so far has been a chain restaurant. Ruby Tuesdays, TGIFridays, Red Lobster, the Cheesecake Factory (to which the question of whether or not this was just a dessert stand or an actual sit-down eatery was posed), etc.
Why do people eat at these festering petri dishes?
Laziness is the best reason that I can come up with. Think about it. There's no research involved. It's restaurant service combined with fast-food menu convenience. Too bad for folks that that the food is all microwaved and soaked in butter. As a friend who once worked at Red Lobster explained to me, "the only things that don't come premade and get put in a microwave are the steaks and the lobster. That's it."
If the food wasn't bad enough, R points out that all the crap on the walls (hockey sticks, boomerangs, license plates, photographs of football players from the 1920s, and the classic "Free beer tomorrow" sign) collects dust and creates an atmosphere of tacky-ness that, for some reason, still doesn't kill one's appetite.
The only explanation for remaining hungry despite the crap on the walls must be some kind of pheromone pumped into the air. Conspiracy? Damn straight.

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry

The "Orwellian Mode" on this site is genius.
"Whatever I feel like doing. Gosh!"

Monday, December 27, 2004

Ah....

Christmas is over and so is a short break from work. Thank goodness that I only have three days of work this week. My sister managed the awesome... Incredible... gift of Napoleon Dynamite, which I will now quote at least once per blog. Lucky. She was also in charge of the stocking stuffing and utilized the dollar store to its full potential. She managed to come up with these gems:

cool_eye_front

cool_eye_back

As you can see above, the "cooLeye" is an unfashionable eye covering that supposedly helps to reduce swelling or something. The best part about this product is its insane description on the back, the full text of which is as follows:

INTRODUTION
Cooleye is especially designed for people who are constantly using their mind and eyes for work. The product is adopted the new formula-DVT.It is mixed some kinds of non-frozen macr-omolecule compound. It Has the stable energy transformation function according to the unique physical theory. The product absorbs heat automatically, it is not need to freeze it. The product is naturally and refreshing, never freezes below 0°C. It can be directly acted on the body regions by cold dressing or hot dressing. The product can promote the blood circulation. It is convenient for use.it can be sued in hot or cold condition and can be used repeatedly. The surface material of the product is smooth and ventilated environmental protection material,it is made from international comportable material, can pr-event static electricity and resist low or high temperature. The product has no stimulation and poisonous to the skin so it is necessary for our daily life.
USAGE
1.Cooleye should be stored indoor or put in room which has air conditioner, you can get better effect if put it in refrigerator for 15-30 minutes before use.
2.For hot spread,put in about 70°C, hot water for 10-15 minutes. Please put on a towel to guard against frostbite and scald If it is overcool when freezed below 0°C or overheated when he-ated.
3.It can be used repeatedly.
CAUTION
It must be stopped using when its content leaked out.
It is only for external use, not edible.

Given my major in college, I'd feel bad poking fun at this, so I'll just let you make your own jokes... They can be used repeatedly!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Boy Shuns Blog

It's not my fault that I haven't been updating this thing lately, I swear.
I read some article in the washington post sunday source section about blogging and it said that I'm supposed to be updating at least as often as I eat. This little piece of advice clearly doesn't work in reverse as I'd be dead if I only ate when I blogged...
What's somebody doing writing an article about blogging and â€œhaving a successful blogâ€, anyway? It's a web log, not a product. That's like giving people advice on having a sucessful diary. I want people to read this, of course, but it's as much for me as it is for them... At least I think it's supposed to be... No, actually. I lied. It's totally for other people to read otherwise I wouldn't publish it.
The reason for the lack of updates is that I'm currently trying to balance this stupid job that I have to work at until all hours without overtime compensatioon (55 hours last week... I'm such a martyr, aren't I?), this website that I'm designing for some band from NY called â€œthe volunteersâ€, and all the extra fun that comes along with the holidays. Guess who suffers first?
If you said you, then you're a lovely person for thinking that this writing not being around actually makes you suffer. If you said me, then you caught on to the whole martyr thing. If you said the ghost of christmas present, you're probably right, but also may not have been paying attention. That's all I've got (my thumbs are tired).

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry

Saturday, December 18, 2004

R had her office party last night. With a belly full of wine I fell asleep on the couch and apparently was not a fan of being dragged to bed. I woke up at 7:28 and was crawling into bed when I heard something that I had read about in the paper. At 7:30 this morning the old DC convention center was demolished. R was awake with me to hear the rumble and luckily I remembered what it was or we would have both been ducking and covering underneat a doorjam... or something. The footage is pretty sweet. Nothing gets people happy like watching destruction.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

This blog is for CA, since he's the only reader and is now forcing me to blog at work where I will undoubtedly be punished harshly in my upcoming review.
This article talks about one of the government expenditures that pisses me off the most. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the logical argument behind a missle defense program is a leftover from the cold war and does not apply to today's world. Just like Bush's token attorney general appointee said about the Geneva Convention, missle defense does not apply to the "war on terror".
Terrorists have a hard enough time finding AK-47s to shoot around, let alone intercontinental ballistic missiles. This program is a Reagan-era leftover and I can only guess that it's being completed because of campaign promises to defense contractors.
That only five of the eight tests have worked is disturbing enough, but add to that the fact that for those tests we've known exactly when and where one missle was launching from and its exact trajectory. We still missed three of them.
I'm no rocket scientist, but this seems a lot like the game of throwing one rock in the air and trying to hit it with another. This game is pretty hard even if you know when and where your friend is throwing the rock that you're trying to hit. I can only imagine how difficult it would be when you don't know where and when the rock will be thrown from and only 5 of your eight rocks are throwable.
What we have is a good start towards something totally unneccesary.
I know what you're thinking: "How often has he played that rock throwing game and where can I find the rules online?"
It took me ten hours at work to write this between ridiculous assignments. I left work at 9pm and I got there at 9am. That's pretty sad. I wonder if the link still works...

Monday, December 13, 2004

Wow, people are wusses in this country. Normally, I would be all for removing Evanescence CDs from Walmart shelves, but I suppose that on principle I'd have to say that asking for $73,000 in damages for each copy of the cd sold because it contains "profanity" is too ridiculous.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Another really dumb product

Want to breath fresh clean air? Why not wear an air purifier around your neck?

Thursday, December 09, 2004

go here. It's really, really cool.

shortest post ever

Maybe not, found some other cool stuff:
here, here, and here.

Two Things

AM, this extra amount of Blog is for you. R said you read every Friday and I thought I might as well put something interesting up here.

1)

Rumsfeld is an AS$H#LE! His answers to troops questions were wrong. What kind of person has such total disregard for his own responsibility? Read the article. Be sad at the type of person we have as the Sec. Of Defense. I couldn't believe the kind of callous remarks he was willing to feed to people who had the courage to ask questions that need to be asked. What an ass. He's worse than the guy who steals my paper or the guy who pees in the elevator. He's just a bad person.

2)

On a lighter note, doesn't the "Green Zone" have an uncanningly similar shape to New Orleans? It's really weird:

neworleans

IMgreen_zone

Maybe I'm wrong. Sue me. I think the real war is somewhere in Louisiana.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Pixies show pt II

Man, that was a good show!

Dark far away pictures below:

the_bennies

The Bennies

tv_on_the_radio

TV on the Radio

pixies_set

Pixies Set

pixies_02

Before the Encore

pixies_03

Pixies Encore

Pixies show

Currently sitting in DAR waiting for the pixies to go on. Just got finished watching the first opener, the bennies, whose lead singer/guitarist is a little person in a wheelchair. He was talented, but the music was a tad too punk for my style. TV on the Radio is up next. They were good when I saw them open for the faint, so it should beat the debacle I just witnessed.

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry

Quote from the Streets?

Off "Get Out of My House" by the Streets (I can't imagine they thought of it
themselves, but it's good):
"It's hard enough to remember my opinions without remembering my
reasons for them."

Something's going around

I think everbody in my office has a cold. I sit here listening to
coughs and sniffles from all the other cubes. I tried drowning it out
with headphones yesterday, but today I'm definitely going out to by
some Zicam. That stuff is amazing.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

A recent conversation:
Other Person: What is civilazation iii
Other Person: by the name I can tell it is for complete losers
Other Person: like dungeons and dragons
Me: It's a computer game where you build a civilization. It's kind of like D&D b/c there are turns. I played the first one in MIDDLE SCHOOL.
Other Person: and promptly realized it wouldn't impress girls
Me: Nope. Never realized that. I think that's when I got really into YoYos and Juggling. Things that also don't impress girls.
Other Person: juggling is kind of cool
Other Person: kind of
Me: nope
Other Person: but yoyos kill it
Me: It's cool until you realize how long someone had to practice... then you realize that they must have used up their free time practicing juggling... then you recognize them as a loser.
Me: it's a simple logical progression to loserdom that jugglers are blind to.
Me: I mean, really. Read an f'n book.
Other Person: or practice juggling....I guess the book might make you more interesting whereas hours spent practicing juggling will certainly not.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Don't you see?

By using the power of the blackberry I can now write messages to the 1.5 readers of my blog from anywhere in the worl at any time... It's kinf of like a phone... Wait a second. Why didn't I just buy a phone?
Ah, then I wouldn't have anything to blog about.

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry

Blalking

It's completely official: with the power to blog while walking to work I've reached the height, nay thr pinnacle of nerdom. Monday...
Was thinking last night about how if regular TV adds 10 lbs., HDTV probably adds 100.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

I'm sorry, but this device is the height of laziness. Nothing says sloth like a voice activated remote control with LCD display.

Friday, December 03, 2004

This is an actual quote from the t-mobile website (underneath the map):
"Roaming charges and long distance charges may apply where applicable."
Really? Something applies where applicable? That's the most obvious
thing I've ever seen written, I think.

*Words on this blog may be written where writable.

Test

This is just a test email to see if I can blog from my new Blackberry. Yes, I am extremely nerdy.
Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

*reminder*
This is just here to remind me to check out http://www.pillowfightrocks.com later when I'm not at work. You can check it out too, but it will burn your retnas... seriously.

Cubicle

Dusty walled work space,
You let people see me work.
I want a window.

I've been counting pages for 2 days.... starting to hallucinate... work week... not short enough... like... last week... ugh.

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